King Kong vs. Godzilla

*** out of ****

I’ve always had an appreciation for those dubbed, Toho Studios films in which men in rubber suits trash cardboard buildings and battle over who gets to be king of the remaining rubble. You get exactly what you pay for. Sure, the original King Kong was a strapping (and American) adventure yarn, and the first Godzilla was imagined as a serious metaphor for nuclear destruction. But after those films, all bets, and production values, are off.

Look elsewhere for a stimulating film filled with intelligent special effects and poignant themes. But if you, like many others out there, enjoy laughing at hilariously bad rubber monsters duking it out and trying hard not to tear their costumes, while terrified citizens of Tokyo run for shelter (I am forced to wonder how high the taxes in Tokyo are after all these monster attacks) and say words different than how their lips move, then King Kong vs. Godzilla is right up your alley. In fact, it invented the genre, and gave birth to the likes of Godzilla vs. Mothra, King Kong Escapes, Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster, and so help us all, Son of Godzilla.

The plot concerns, blah blah blah. I won’t insult your intelligence any more than it takes just to read this review with a straight face. While some “versus” films try to maintain continuity between the series that they are bringing together (Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, Freddy vs. Jason, Alien vs. Predator), King Kong vs. Godzilla does not concern itself with restraints of a coherent storyline—it merely exists to watch the monsters in action. This isn’t a sequel to either King Kong or Godzilla, but rather a reworking of each film’s basic plot thread in order to bring them together in battle as quickly as possible.

We therefore are given the island of Kong (in which the giant ape is not summoned by a beautiful female sacrifice, but wine made from the island’s local berry supply!), and the resurrection of Godzilla (in which his radioactive origins have been reworked just to have him an ancient dinosaur who has been released from an ice berg—at least in the American version), but none of this is fleshed out much. Not that we exactly care. The acting, of course compliments the brilliant writing as well: The entire film plays like a competition between Japanese residents to see which one of them can scream the loudest while pointing up into the air.

Our two monsters are the key features, of course, and they are given the most complex roles. Got to keep those suits in one piece amidst all that wresting, after all. The beasts are sometimes together and sometimes apart, and in their scenes together, we quickly realize that neither one of them like each other very much. The reason suggested for their animosity is their instinctual, prehistoric, competitive nature—this town ain’t big enough for two gigantic monsters. A more likely reason is because they are both keenly aware that they are in a movie called King Kong vs. Godzilla and want to be good sports.

So, the humans run, scramble, try to kill the monsters, and fail. The monsters, undeterred by these puny humans, continue their thrashing. That’s the first two-thirds of the film. The last third consists of the humans bringing the two monsters together to Mount Fuji for a climactic showdown in which, hopefully, “both will die.” In order to do so, King Kong is knocked out with gas and then airlifted with gigantic helium balloons, after which—no, no…On second thought, I’ll just let it surprise you.

In any case, what an exciting last third act it is! Certainly King Kong and Godzilla have encountered monstrous adversaries before this film, but never with as much ferocity, energy, or camp. This certainly is a rip-roaring battle, complete with full-speed charges, hide-and-seek, tail-floggings, lightening storms, tree-gorgings, head-butts, and general dirty play. If enemy monsters really did come in two-hundred foot tall rubber suits, I am pretty sure that this is exactly what a fight between them would look like.

A word must also be said about the suits. Ah, these poor, poor suits. My wife has a pink bunny outfit currently stashed in the closet, and if it was coated in brown paint, it would still look more competent than King Kong. Godzilla fares a little better, but only because the suit is green and rubbery, and so is his character. Those never moving, painted eyes are certainly a hoot however. Again, you get what you pay for.

Serious Godzilla fans mumble and groan about the insertion of American footage in the version that we have over here in the Western civilization. Life is probably too short for such whining for non-fanboys. Yes, there are some painfully inserted scenes in which some U.N. news agency discusses what is happening. But they are painfully inserted into an already painfully written plotline, and they don’t add or take away from the man-in-suit scenes. I am therefore forced to conclude that the film would be of the same quality with or without these sequences. Incidentally, these particular fanboys also want all of Godzilla’s films released with English subtitles. I for one am glad that King Kong vs. Godzilla is dubbed; I’d otherwise be too busy laughing and wiping tears from my eyes to read what the characters are saying. Certainly so much camp exists around the Godzilla films that the dubbing adds to the charm, but I suppose that people who want to take these films seriously are free to do so. I guess.

King Kong vs. Godzilla was originally conceived by Willis O’Brien, creator of the original Kong film, as King Kong vs. Prometheus. O’Brien wanted the film to be a sequel to his 1933 Kong, and the giant ape’s foe was supposed to be Frankenstein’s Monster. When no Hollywood studio would finance the film, he turned to Toho Studios, who bought the rights with their own ideas for the script. How much survived of O’Brien’s original vision is impossible to say, but King Kong vs. Godzilla still remains a whole lot of fun—a camp masterpiece that leaves you howling loudly in amusement and delirious delight. Forget the “So Bad, It’s Good” genre. This one doesn’t apologize for its campiness—it’s in a league of its own. Perhaps it should be called, “So Bad, It’s Sort of Brilliant.” That said, it’s probably a good thing that O’Brien was dead by the time of its release. Perhaps someone should unbury him to see if his body has flipped over.

Cast:
Shoichi Hirose: King Kong
Haruo Nakajima, Katsumi Tezuka: Godzilla

RKO Pictures presents a Toho production. Directed by Ishirô Honda. Written by Shinichi Sekizawa, from an original concept by Willis O’Brien. No M.P.A.A. rating, but fine for all ages. Running time: 91 minutes (Japanese version runs seven extra minutes). Original United States theatrical release date: June 26, 1963.